What is Codependence?

• My good feelings about who I am stem from being loved by you.
• My good feelings about who I am stem from receiving approval from you
• Your struggle affects my serenity.  My mental attention focuses on solving your problems or relieving your pain
• My mental attention is focused on pleasing you
• My mental attention is focused on protecting you
• My self-esteem is bolstered by solving your problems
• My own hobbies and interests are put aside.  My time is spent sharing your interests and hobbies
• Your clothing and personal appearance are dictated by my desires as I feel you are a reflection of me
• Your behavior is dictated by my desires as I feel you are a reflection of me
• I am not aware of how I feel.  I am aware of how you feel
• I am not aware of what I want - I ask what you want.  I am not aware - I assume
• The dreams I have for my future are linked to you
• My fear of rejection determines what I say or do
• My fear of your anger determines what I say or do
• I use giving as a way of feeling safe in our relationship
• My social circle diminishes as I involve myself with you
• I put my values aside in order to connect with you
• I value your opinion and way of doing things more than my own
• The quality of my life is in direct relation to the quality of yours

The above was taken from Celebrate Recovery, Saddleback Church, Irvine, CA

Check out their website:  www.CelebrateRecovery.com