Bringing Out the Best in Kids

We all know children need to be praised and encouraged by their parents to build positive self-esteem.  However, sometimes in our busy and stressed days we, as parents, need reminders to focus on the important things in life and not react to the "little stuff." Too often we react to our children's negative behaviors instead of responding to them when we catch them doing something "right."  Striving to be great parents raising great kids takes a good dose of mindfulness on our part.  Our kids look to us for evidence that they are lovable, capable, smart, etc.  Children thrive on praise and need a lot of affection and love.  Hugs, "I love you," kisses, pats on the back and phrases indicating they're special help establish patterns of respect and belongingness.  As parents, our children look to us to see if our walk and talk match.  They are watching and listenting all the time!  Let your words and your actions match.  Perhaps that is the biggest gift you can give your child--trust.  When our words and actions match we are building a constancy that says "I am trustworthy,"  "You can count on me."  It is this atmosphere of a safe place or safe haven that allows our children to grow and mature with a strong sense of self-esteem and respect.  To receive respect we must give respect.  Let your walk and talk match!

Here are 20 things you can say to Praise and Encourage your children:

• You are doing a great job
• Nice going
• GREAT
• TERRIFIC
• Good for you
• I knew you could do it
• That's the way to do it
• Keep on trying
• I'm very proud of you
• You can do it
• You must have been practicing                                                   Five things you can do!
• Good work                                                                                  
• I like the way you _______                                                      * Create a calm, loving, anger free home 
• I like the way you listen                                                           * Express gratitude in front of the kids
• WOW                                                                                            * Don't be afraid to say "I'm sorry"
• That's really nice                                                                       * Tell your kids "I love you"
• Look at what you can do                                                        * Make you talk and your walk match!                                                                                                                                             
• That's better
• SUPER
• You are such a great Kid